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Mood:
Compassion -
Drinking: Diet coke.
I haven't been on Deviantart in a long, long while. A lot has changed this past year.
I don't want attention or anything. But I really feel like I should say this. Maybe it'll make a difference in someone's life and maybe it won't. But I'll share my story of the past year anyway.
So I went to this awesome art high school. It's a really slick place, and I met a whole bundle of incredibly talented Perpich souls who I have no doubt will become lifelong friends of mine. For the first two weeks I thought things would be just wonderful, but I ended up losing one of my dear Friedns to suicide on September 15th, 2010. It was my first experience with death, and I'm sure everyone out there who's ever lost someone dear to them knows what it's like. I was thrown in drug treatment for a week and missed her funeral, and I spent the remainder of my senior year making art only of her. Portraits, weird jumbled representations of grief, and whatnot. Looking back, it felt like the end of the world to me. I thought that things couldn't possibly get worse. I was proven very, very wrong.
Last month on June 11th I came home from a friend's grad party to find a shitton of cop cars outside my house. At first I thought they were there for me, and almost wanted to just drive away. I didn't want to get into even more trouble with the law. But when I went inside I was informed that my little sister had tried to commit suicide. She had hanged herself out her bedroom window. My mom was a wreck, and I saw my dad cry for the very first time. The next few days were spent in and out of the hospital, visiting her and holding her hand. Talking to her even though she was heavily sedated, and probably braindead since she had been hanging for a good 20-30 minutes. I knew in the back of my mind that she probably wasn't going to make it, but I tried to believe she would. Needless to say, she was declared brain dead 3 days later on the 14th. She was only 16 years old.
My little sister was the closest person I had in my life. I never needed a best friend, my parents support and love, or a caring older brother cuz I always had her. She was my everything, and I'll never experience a bond with anyone quite like the one we shared.
It may seem like I'm asking for pity or for sympathy, but that is not my intention at all.
I don't know quite why I'm posting this, or even if people are reading it.
But please.
Don't ever take the people you love for granted. Don't ever shove away someone that needs you.
If you're reading this and you're suicidal, I won't even try to pretend I know how you feel. But I do know the pain suicide causes for the people left behind. No matter who or where you are, no matter the circumstances or the crap you've been through, I can absolutely garuntee someone would miss you if you were gone. Even if it feels like no one cares anymore, someone out there does. And I do.
Love the people around you. We're all human beings. And each and every person in this world deserves your love.
Sorry for the rant.
;3;
I'll post more art pretty soon.
Sta.sh
